Iglesia Cristiana

"Real men pour in. Real men pour in. It's going to be a rough morning, brother. Yeah, real men are not a deficit. Real men are an asset. They pour in, and we're going to have a good time. Jesus is teaching and he's talking to his disciples about his father. He's having a Father's Day moment with his sons. He says, 'As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Continue in my love.' Listen to that, don't go to anything else. As the Father has loved me, in the same proportion, so have I loved you. If he loved me little, I loved you little. If he loved me lots, I loved you lots. As the Father has loved me, I reduplicated that in my life. What was modeled in front of me, I repeated. So all I did was communicate to you as he has communicated unto me.

Later in Galatians, you will hear Paul talking to you about communicating with those who teach you in all good things. He's talking about giving to people who teach you because you cannot give what was not poured into you. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Continue in my love.

Next verse, 'If you keep my commandments, you shall abide in my love.' So, there's a discipline component in it. It's not just emotion, it's not just love, it's not just feeling. There's a discipline component to it. You can't just turn the kids over to her because she's a gifted nurturer, and she will nurture things that she later regrets. That's why there are two of you, and that's why you have to be released to play your role, and she plays her role. And together, we balance the home. I've got rules, she's got nurturing, and single mothers have to have both. You've got to balance it, and it's hard. Even as I have kept my Father's commandments and abided in His love, He said, 'I'm abiding in His love because I obeyed.' You can't expect God to bless you if you won't obey.

If you keep my commandments," Jesus said, "as it is with me and my Father, so it is with me and you. If you keep my commandments, you shall abide in my love. Even as I have kept my Father's commandments and abided in His love. Come on, these things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you. That when I look at you, I'm glad. And that your joy might be full. Those are two joys in that text. He said, 'I've spoken unto you that my joy might remain in you, that I have a delight in seeing you coming. But I also spoke it that your joy might be full. So when you and I get together, joy meets joy."

"So that there is no ambiguity about what he means by commandment, he defines it. 'This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.' Stop right there. If we just did that one, he gave us one commandment: that you love one another as I have loved you. If I put up with you, if I'm patient with you, you ought to reflect that patience in the people you love. He didn't just say love one another; he said love them as I have loved you. Are you convicted already? I know, I know. I could make an altar call right now. The question is, is your love a reflection of His love or a reflection of your selfishness, frustrations, desires, and attitudes? Can anybody see Jesus' love in the way you love? Oh, it's going to be tight today.

'This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.' You keep saying you're misunderstood. You're not misunderstood; you mean you are not being misunderstood. Your hateful love is never misunderstood. Who misunderstands love? You nasty! But you absolve yourself, saying, 'They just don't get me.' No, you don't get you.

'Greater love has no man than this,' now he's going deeper, he's going for the throat, 'that a man lay down his life for his friends.' He said the epitome of love is sacrifice. God so loved the world that he gave, not took, that he gave. See, men pour in. It's not about taking. Wherever there is love, love pours; lust takes. A lot of people, you think love you, just lust you. I'm preaching already. I'm all in this text. I'm preaching already.

Now he says, 'You are my friends if you do whatsoever I command you.' And what he commanded us to do was love one another. And God says, 'You are my friend according to the way you love. If you don't love, you're not my friend.' Henceforth, I call you not servants. Oh, here comes an upgrade. Get your iPhone 'cause upgrades coming. Henceforth, I call you not servants, for the servant knows not what the Lord does. But I have called you friends.

Are the people who work for you servants or friends? Maybe they're not working with you because you don't know how to be nice. You don't seem interested in them. You're only interested in goals. And as long as they reach the goal, they're okay with you. But you don't ask them how they are, how they're doing. You don't check on them when they're sick. You don't visit them in the hospital. You don't do anything for their children. They're servants. You don't tell them anything. Servants don't know anything. A servant knows not what his master does. You don't communicate. They just don't get me. No, you're not doing it right. Jesus says, 'A servant knows not what his master does.' He said that I call you no longer servants. I have made you my friends. For all things that I have heard from my Father, I have made known unto you.

Watch this, this is my good one right here. This is me right here. 'You have not chosen me.' You think you came to me? You didn't come to me. I drew you. You thought you came to the Potter's house this morning? You didn't come to the Father's house. I drew you to the Potter's house. 'You have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and I ordained you that you should go and bring forth fruit. Just like I told you in Genesis, be fruitful. I didn't tell you just to be alive, just to exist. I commanded you to be fruitful. I ordained you to be fruitful. Somebody say, 'I must be fruitful.' And that your fruit should remain.

I have to stop here and talk to all the people who are experiencing fruit but are scared of it. You're scared to trust it, you're scared it's not going to stay. You're scared the marriage is not going to work, you're scared the promotion won't last, you're scared where you are won't last. God said, 'I ordained that your fruit should remain.' Here comes more good stuff. 'Whatsoever you shall ask of the Father in my name, he's just going to give it to you. Y'all didn't hear me. You ain't going to work for it, he's going to give it to you. How many of you have ever heard God give you something?"

"I just came back from Atlanta, and they gave me a plaque on the sidewalk, my name and grade on the street. I thought to myself, coming home on the plane, 'God, I didn't even ask you for that.' He said, 'No, I just gave it to you.' Right beside BB King and Dr. King, and Kathy Hills, is TD Jakes. I didn't even ask for it, I didn't think to ask for it. It was above and beyond anything I would ask or think. But God, God's going to do some stuff for you that you didn't even think to ask for.

'These things I command you, that you love one another.' Somebody say amen. Go back to that first verse, that first verse at nine. 'As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.' I just imitated Him. I just acted like Him. As He poured into me, I poured into you. So have I loved you. So have I loved. The Father has loved me vulnerably, totally, completely, unashamedly, even though I'm wrapped up in sinful flesh and took on the form of a servant. His love didn't lessen because of my form. Why is your love so conditional?

Continue ye in my love. Real men pour in. Father, in the name of Jesus, I thank you first of all for the fathers. I thank you for the mothers. I thank you for all the sisters and brothers. As we celebrate fathers specifically today, I pray that you might use me as an instrument to encourage, instruct, inspire, renew, increase. Thank you, Lord, for having an open conversation about fatherhood because for many of us, the only model we have of a father comes from your word. And you taught us when we pray to say 'our Father.' And you define what fatherhood is to us because some of us have never been close to a model. There are women in this room that cannot deal with husbands because they didn't have daddies. There are men in here that cannot be fathers because they've never been fathered.

I pray that over the next few moments, some glimmering of hope, some glistening, flickering light of enlightenment would so touch them that a seed is planted in their heart. I believe you for miracles. Have your way, O God, in Jesus' name. Amen. You may be seated in the presence of God. Let's go to work.

Everything begins with fatherhood. The whole Bible begins with fatherhood. It starts out with a father that we call God, Elohim. Elohim, God. He plural God in many forms, spoke and let there be. Now, to be totally honest and accurate, God is complete within Himself. And when I say father, I'm talking about a position, not a gender, because He would have, it has been like a hermaphrodite, having both. He is both father and mother. He is complete within Himself, lacking nothing. In order to create, He didn't need anything. He had everything in Himself to do what He wanted done. That's why when He created Adam, He didn't have to create Eve because Adam was created in the likeness of God, which didn't make him male.

So when He sought a woman, God pulled the woman out of him. And when Adam woke up, he said, 'Whoa, man! Whoa, man! Check it out! It's me with an opening. She's a man with a womb. I'll call her woman.' The first thing he noticed about her, without her hips, lips, or fingertips, he said, "She is my body. She is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh." That is why the church is both the bride of Christ and the body of Christ. When God begins to create, He uses the earth as a womb. The planet has a womb, and He injected His seed into the womb of the earth. The Bible says later in Romans 8 that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain. Only a woman can travail in pain. He used the earth as a womb; He used His Word as sperm. When His sperm hit the womb of the earth, He said, "Let there be," and there was birth. And the reason the whole creation can travail is because she has been God's womb.

It started with Father God, and according to the scriptures, it will end with Father God. The Bible says that Jesus will take the kingdom and commit it into the hands of the Father, and God shall be once again all in all. So y'all don't hear what I just said. It might have went over your head, but what I just said walked from Genesis to Revelation. It told you how it started as one; it told you how it will all go back to one. That everything that came forth out of God will go back to God, and God shall be all in all, complete within Himself, lacking nothing.

That's why when we pray, we say, "Our Father." Everything came out of Him. Real men pour in. When Adam is created and Eve is pulled out of him, he breaks the divine order because men were designed to pour in. When he started receiving from her, if Adam had not allowed Eve to pour into him, sin would have never come into the world. Sin came into the world because Adam broke the order. We were not designed to receive from women. Your self-esteem is compromised when you have to ask your wife for lunch money. I'm not saying you have to be rich; I'm not saying you have to be famous. I'm saying that you have to be the one who pours in, not the one who takes out. When Adam started eating out of his wife's hand, sin came in because the divine order was broken.

 

Are you hearing what I'm saying to you? And Adam all of a sudden has allowed the curse to come because he stopped pouring. Women, be careful about pouring too much into us. We are designed to pour into you, and you are designed to take what we pour into you and increase it, and make it better. You increase it; you appreciate it and you multiply it. This breaks all sociological orders of the culture we're living in now because we are raising up women to be men. And you are not applauded for your femininity. You are applauded in the contemporary society by how tough, rough, nasty, mean, aggressive, hateful, possessive you are. And you are climbing the corporate ladder, but we are losing our families.

I know you can buy your own car; I know you can buy your own house. But until you create a need that I can pour into, I have no place in your life. So stop coming home bragging to me about how much you don't need me and wonder why I shy away."

"Oh, y'all ain't gonna talk back to me this morning. The conversation has become, let's prove to the men how dispensable they are, and it is born out of pain because we hurt you and betrayed you and lied to you and cheated on you. And you became like you became out of pain. But watch what is born out of pain. But on, I can never be king, only Benjamin, that is born out of pain, is the way you cope with disorder. Insists for better out of me rather than replacing me.

Oh Lord, I told you they weren't going to like this, Jesus. Let's go from the scriptures to anatomy, anatomically. Men pour in, life begins. When men pour in, we were designed to pour in. You were designed to preserve what is poured in. As it is in the physical, so it is in the spiritual. We are designed to pour in. My wife's brother got sick the other day, really, really sick, and we were out of the country. And I knew she was upset because I know her, and I know how to read her signs. It's not that she falls apart or anything like that, she has little smoke signals that send up that say SOS. And if you don't learn how to read the person's signals that you're married to, you can't stay with them. The Bible says dwell with a woman according to knowledge. The better you understand her, the better the chances you have of being able to be with her.

So, I knew she was upset. I came where she was, and I sat down on the bed beside her, and I started praying for her. And I started praying for her brother because men pour in. They're not indifferent; they're not deaf; they're not tone-deaf. They're not emotionally detached. I could have kept doing what I was doing, but I understood as a man and the priest of my home, I didn't pray for her because she can't pray for herself. She often prays for me. But my ability to go in and be the priest of my house and be worried about what she's worried about and care about what she cares about is what helps me to be a man that pours in. Pouring in is not just about money. You're not just a father because you send a check.

Let me do two things. I'm getting ahead of myself. First, there is a difference between being a good husband and being a good father. It is possible to be better at one than you are at the other. It is possible to be a better mother than you are a wife. That's why mothers easily align the children on their side because often she's better at being a mother than a wife. And the mother becomes the kids' tribe, her support system. The moment she becomes shaky concerning him, she gathers her troops. Talk to me, ladies. She gathers her truths. Sometimes she gathers them because she knows he cares more about them than he does her, and it's a way to give him pain so he can feel what she's feeling.

In other words, your gathering your truths is not only to strengthen you, it is revenge. Since you took away what I love, I'm going to take away what you love. The only problem is, while you're getting revenge, you're hurting your kids. So, you got the child support, but you didn't get the child support. The court can make a man pay child support, but they can't make him give child support because child support is not a check, it's attention. Come on, fathers. Come on, fathers. Jesus does not discuss how the father made him rich or famous. He talked about how the father loved him. When you take the father's love from the child, or the father doesn't know how to give love to the child outside of the woman, the child is damaged. Are you hearing what I'm saying? Let me wait, let me get some water here for a minute.

Wait, I came to this glass to get some water, but it had none. No matter how thirsty I am, it has no water. I can't get any water poured into me because it had no water poured into it. It is hard to pour into people what was not poured into you. I got this big picture here. It looks good, it's nice, it's fancy, it's cute, it's fine, it's wonderful, and honestly, it's expensive. But it's empty. Just 'cause you're dressed up don't mean you pour in. Just 'cause you got a Gucci bag don't mean you pour in. Just because you got a fine watch, that means you pour in. You can be fine as wine and have nothing to pour in, and pretty soon we're gonna get tired of you being cute. You cute, but you empty, sir. Men pour in.

Both the glass and the pitcher are empty, and I can't get my thirst quenched from an empty glass. And the glass can't give me water because the thing that was designed to pour into it was also empty. Let me tell you why you're dry. The thing that was designed to pour into you is empty. So Jesus says, move in real close on me, Jamaica. Jesus says, 'As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.' I can't pour into you until something is poured. So what do I do when the person that should have been full is empty or left or died, and my thirst has never been fulfilled because they were empty?

Have you noticed in the text that when Jesus talks about fatherhood, he doesn't mention Joseph? Joseph is his earthly father. He is in the beginning of the story of Jesus, but he disappears early in the story. We don't see Joseph past Jesus turning 12. There are debates about what happened to him, but he is absent. Jesus cannot draw from Joseph's pour. Joseph started out pouring because he was called the carpenter's son. Somewhere, the flow broke.

I want to talk to some people in this room that somewhere, either by death, abandonment, drugs, whatever it was, the flow broke and left you thirsty. And I guarantee you, if it left you thirsty, man or woman, it also left you angry because I don't understand how I could have anything that looks so good and was so empty. So, we look good to the community, we look good to everybody. But behind closed doors, you ain't pouring nothing into me. And gradually, I become angry with you because your inability to pour into me leaves me desperate and thirsty. And then you hit me with commandments and tell me where not to drink, but you're dry. How can you be dry and then tell me where not to drink?

Jesus doesn't talk to us about commandments before he talks to us about love. He says, 'As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you.' Then he talks about keeping my commandments. You can't keep commandments if you can't drink. Real men pour in.

It took me about 10 years, maybe longer, to truly understand my wife. I finally get it, bro. Women are different, they're strange, they're not like us. She used to tell me how much she missed me when I was on the road, eagerly waiting for me to come home. I apologize for my loose moment earlier; I didn't take my medication in a hurry this morning before leaving the house. But when I arrived home, expecting her to be excited and passionate, she just kissed me briefly and went back to watching her Lifetime murder shows.

In that moment, anger surged through me, and I entertained thoughts of harming her. But I quickly realized that wouldn't be the right thing to do. It infuriated me that all she wanted was for me to be present at home. It took me 15 years to realize that she didn't want material gifts; she wanted my presence. Don't get me wrong, the gifts played a part in building our family, but what she truly desired was my presence.

Let's talk about real men, fellas. Maybe because we started out as bucks, we tend to measure our value based on our anatomical attributes. However, we haven't fully understood the value of our presence. Just being there, knowing we are in the house, hearing our crazy snores, or being there when a noise breaks out at night. Being present for our kids to experience life with a man. It prevents our daughters from seeking male attention elsewhere and guides our sons in understanding healthy masculinity.

So, while we appreciate financial support and physical intimacy, until we embrace emotional connection, there will always be a deficit. Jesus didn't start talking about money or sex when he spoke about his father. He said, "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you." Real men, we need to pour out our emotional presence just as our Father in heaven does.

I used to think that kids only needed fathers when they were young, but the truth is, we never outgrow our need for a daddy. I vividly remember a Father's Day celebration at our church several years ago. We always honored mothers on Mother's Day by pinning roses on them, so we decided to pin corsages on the fathers. However, there weren't many fathers present. One little boy approached me and pinned a corsage on my chest, considering me his father. He didn't know how to properly attach it, so it pricked my skin, but I didn't flinch. I silently bled while a grown man, around 38 or 40 years old, pinned another corsage on me, claiming me as his father too. Soon, my entire row was covered in flowers, concealing the bleeding underneath.

Being a father is not always easy; it's bloody. It may appear rosy on the outside, but internally, it's a constant battle. There are countless books about women's pain, emotions, careers, and magazines like Essence that focus on women's experiences. When it comes to men's magazines, they often emphasize how to be more sexually appealing, reducing us to mere sperm donors. We lack context and understanding. Can I teach you something? We have no context when it comes to pain.

When the Bible instructs husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, women are often caught up in discussions about submission, but they miss the rest of the verse. Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Whoa, wait a minute! Christ gave himself up, pouring out his love. So, you talk about submission, but you're not the one submitting to anyone. I got the worst part of the deal—He told me to die for you. He told me to bleed within and still stand there. I want to express my gratitude to every father who has faced pain head-on, silently wiping away the blood, never quitting, running away, or hiding. You stayed emotionally available even while personally bleeding. Our natural instinct is to internalize pain, building walls to protect ourselves from the pins others stick in us. But those walls also prevent our emotions from flowing out, leaving us numb and emotionally distant, even though we are physically present.

Just because you have a man in the house doesn't mean he's truly home. Home is when you don't lose your emotional connection due to personal pain. Home is when you understand and pour into those around you, even when you haven't received the same pouring in return. It may seem unfair, but if you expect your wife to fully understand and meet your emotional needs, you will be disappointed. If she admires you, she sees you as a hero who makes everything look easy. She may not minister to you in the same way she does with her girlfriends because she relates to their female experiences. She may have no clue how much it costs you to be yourself. It doesn't mean she's insensitive; it means she's uninformed. And by the time you try to express your pain, it's often clouded by anger and lost in the midst of the emotional turmoil.

So, don't always rely on your wife to be the sole source of pouring back into you. Remember that your own father may not have poured into you either. Where is Joseph in this text? We haven't seen him since the feast. Why is Mary following Jesus and witnessing his miracles, even staying by his side until the cross, while his father is absent? His father missed his football games, his graduation, his crucifixion, his miraculous acts. His father simply wasn't there. But his mother was always there, running behind him, saying, "I'm Jesus' mother, and even if I have to sit in the back, I'll still be in the room because I'm his mama."

What Jesus couldn't receive from Joseph, he received from God. So, come on, come on! Realize that just because you may have missed out on something from your earthly father doesn't mean you can't find what you need from your heavenly Father. Lean on Him, pour out your pain, and receive His love and guidance.

In conclusion, being a father is a bloody journey. It may appear rosy on the outside, but internally, it's filled with sacrifices, emotional battles, and unspoken pain. We must recognize the value of our presence and emotional connection in our families. Even if our own fathers failed us, we can break the cycle and find solace in our relationship with our heavenly Father. So, let's continue to pour out our love, stay emotionally available, and be the fathers our children need.

He should have been able to get it from Joseph. You can't tell me it wouldn't have mattered when Jesus was on the cross if he could have looked out and seen Joseph. You can't tell me that it doesn't make a difference to see your daddy when you're doing what you do. You can't tell me that you're not looking for him when you're stretched wide and hung high. Instead, he sees mama, and from the cross, he has a conversation with a physical mother but a spiritual father. Come on with me. Somewhere along the way, I'm not inviting Joseph, he could have died, I don't know what happened to him. Somewhere along the way, Joseph let down his heavenly Father.

Pour it in. So, to the men, and I'll close with this, where do you get the pouring? When everybody in your life wants some more of you and everybody has a thirst. Your siblings have a thirst, your children have a thirst, if you have grandchildren, they have a thirst, your boss has a thirst, the world has a thirst, the church has a thirst, your friends have a thirst. And you say, "I don't have anything left for me." Paul wrote to Timothy because he trusted Timothy. He said, "Come before winter. It's cold, I don't even have a coat. I am the greatest apostle of the New Testament. I have healed and raised the dead for people who never gave me a coat. But I trust you, Timothy, because I know you love me. I just hope you get here soon enough, come before winter because nobody knows about you that I am empty."

As, in proportion to, as the Father has loved me, not Joseph, not Mary, as the Father has loved me, in that same capacity, I'm able to love you. You know what's very personal? I can love some of the craziest people, people that everybody rejected, threw away, thought they'd never be anything. I will take the dark horse every time. And I couldn't figure out why I do that, even when it's dangerous, even when it's stupid, even when it looks hopeless. I go after them. But then when I read this text, I remembered why. Because I was a dark horse. And as the Father had loved me, because I was born in a raggedy house on the side of the hill, on the backside of a mountain, to fighting parents and chaotic circumstances, and because it looked like I would never be anything, and He poured into me. I can still believe that He can pour into you. I can believe, no matter what you did or who you did it with, or how long you did it, or whether you're HIV positive or whether you're strung out on drugs or whether you're having nervous or emotional problems or whether you're going through a crisis, I still believe God has a plan for your life. I believe, in spite of you going to jail, in spite of you being locked up in prison, in spite of you disappointing people and letting people down, God still has a plan for your life.

And the only way I can love like that is because I have been loved like that. And as the Father has loved me, I love the way He loved because that's what He poured into me, and that's what I pour into you. If you are running dry, come to this altar right now. I don't care how old or young you are. Don't you think for one minute that because I'm your pastor, I don't run dry. Don't you think for one minute that I don't get empty, that I don't get tired and want to quit, that I don't want to run away and hide. Don't you think for one minute that I don't ever want to get in my car and keep driving until I run out of gas and figure it out from there? Don't you think that you are unusual or crazy or weak or phony because you run dry? It's not your fault who did or did not pour into you, but it is your responsibility if you don't learn how to go to God and let Him pour back into you.